I'm a pretty fair parent. My children are as well behaved as they are because Jen and I are consistent with our discipline. However, there are times where I give the boys a pass on certain behaviors. I occasionally think that I may be behaving harsh with them, which is why I give them the passes...and I don't want to be seen like a giant ogre.
But, my goal is not to raise good kids who like me. I would love for my kids to love me and think I'm awesome. But I have a responsibility to Him who created me, as well as the children, to raise good ADULTS. Adults who will do what is pleasing to the Lord, whether they like me or not. You see, God has loaned these children to me for a season. But, they are His. It is my job to be a faithful steward with His children. So, since I want to do what is pleasing to the Lord, I'm going to take care to make sure that these kids, these babies, grow up with a better sense of responsibility and accountability than I did. Part of that includes spanking them, when spanking is needed.
What brought about this post? I read an awesome post last night. She does a great job of explaining much better than I do. So click here, and read it!
Ex-Haggard Counselor: We Wish He Would Not Do This
14 hours ago
2 comments:
Agreed agreed. I like the post you linked, very well written. Personally, we’re in the time-out phase because, well, I’m not to hot on spanking a 20 month old and she’s in a little hitting phase of her own right now, but soon enough. Hey….did any of yours go through the aggressive toddler stage? What did you do?
Time outs are effective at times. However, spankings are reserved for lying and blatant disrespect/defiance. Tantrums result in an automatic "no" for whatever it was they wanted. We also have the "spanking spoon", which makes a distinctive sound. Because Jen and I were so consistent with the spankings when the defiance started, most things can be nipped in the bud with a look, or a change of voice inflection. With our older boys, offenses that are too serious for timeouts, but not serious enough for spankings usually will result in 20 or more pushups, to be done with perfect form.
Boys are aggressive by nature, so a lot of times, if Elijah (age 3)hits Taye (age 8), letting Taye fire back on him is 100 times more effective than anything I could do. Why? Elijah learns not to start fights, and he learns that people hit back. I also make sure that the older ones aren't bullying the younger ones, but I balance by making sure the younger ones aren't antagonizing the older ones! But is she hitting other kids?
I think with her aggressiveness, you have to have consistent discipline. If it's timeouts, then use them. Be prepared for a battle though. I remember Quddus and I had a 45 minute session of timeout, in two minute increments, until the undesired behavior stopped. However, you don't want people to push her around either. So when she gets a bit older, you can temper that with letting her know about the right to defend herself.
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